lives in her own utopian world. loves the blessed life that she has surrounded by friends and family.Gemz.Cam-whore.Queen of Blurness. Thrives in sarcasm.
fathiah_born1987@hotmail.com
spending practically the whole day writing my gp essay has left me feeling so philosophical and yes, lost. i have no idea how many drafts i did, seriously. i get so carried away that i myslf became super lost in my essay. i mean, i keep contradicting myself so much and new ideas will just start to surface..and there goes all my arguments. i think the question just made me more insane..as if i dun already have enough insanity in me...
The world would be a better place without religion. Do u agreee? that was the question i chose to do. there are just so many perspectives to ot and somehow i'm not able to put my arguments together which will be to my advantage.
haissh..but u know what, i seriously think that the world would be very much the same with or without religion. Religion is a source of moral guidance..and yes it definitly makes the world a better place. and it isn't religion itself that creates war. it's the PEOPLE that are too extreme with their beliefs.that's why i strongly believe that peoplle are the ones who should be more accomodating, nderstanding and less agressive. only then can the world be a better place. heck, some people would say that it's not realistic to expect that of people cos it's just not human nature to be that way and i'm just living under the illusion of a utopian world...
and i have come to the conclusion that religion is not an obeject with a single fixed meaning, or even a zone with clear boundaries. it is an aspect of human experience that may intersect, incorporate or transcend other aspects of life and society.
Religion gives people a sense of hope. Thw world is filled with horrible things full of atrocity and faith of some knd is often the one thing that brings comfort to pple especially during hard times and keep them saane. Religion will be speculated and questioned until the end of time, but if it helps someone, if they feel they have a purpose or a happier life because of it, why should it be judged, right? But some people are just so fanatical and they become so wrapped up in the minutia of "The Words" written in holy books that they end up fighting and being extremeists.
i think that religion is importat as it moulds a person's character. but like other philosophies, this guidance can be taken to excessive extremes. but the dividing line between proper andexcessive is quite subjective. Man willa lways find sth to quarrel over no matter how frivolous. Most religions set out to prevent these quarrels and promote friendship but that doesn't always happen and is not necessarily true. sad, huh?
okay, enough of religon and me being so philospphical. ooh did u watch someone like u on saturday night? the show is like super sweet and super nice. hugh jackman was so charming and ashley judd was just super cute. which brings me the question..how do u know that the person is the one? i mean my cousins and i have often discuus abt this but all one can say is 'u just know it'. i think it's just some gut instincts or sth. okay i shall discuss abt that some other tome. being too philosophical is no good for the brain cells and health. =D
Thursday, February 24, 2005
shopping day
so let's start with yesterday. it was ahalf day but the school needed some cheap labour to carry the canteen tables and benches to the shooting range. then off we go to bugis. ie me huda constance and joey. ramya joined us later after floorball but by then, joey had to go for co. kinda wasted cos not all of us can make it and furthermore, it's seldom that we could go out together.
nonetheless i had a helluva fun time bitching and joking. heh. not to mention the countless times we teased constance and making fun of a particular person. heh. we spent most of the time walking that one cannot help but wonder how much calories we lost. huda and i each bought a sling bag and constance spent a very very long time deciding if she should buy a brown belt..her all-time favourite colour....haha...
then at night, i had to go the tailor to take my measurements. then went to macs to buy some food and 28 took a freaking long time reach..my cousins, aunts and i waited for like half an hour ah...
okay it was a late day for me...i think i woke up at 11.30. haha...i was just super lethargic...read my functions notes and then went out with my mym and met my sis at geylang. haha...the main aim of the'outing' was to take my sister's measurements. but lo and behold, it ended up being a shopping spree for my sis and i...we kinda took advantage since my mum was with us. haishh bought so many tops and tudung. oh yah i bought a bag too and some brooches.
then my father met us and we took a cab home. yup i know..leading a tai-tai life.took a really short nap..like only 15 mins and i had to go for tuition...bleh...
oh no..i have a meeting tmr at 10...and opening ceremony concert....
Monday, February 21, 2005
drama-mama
a day filled with colourful displays of emotions and drama. let me start with the briefing for the student audience this morning. i can't believe that we have to cheer at the end of the opening ceremony concert. to begin with, i dun even know why i signed up in the first place. oh yah, joey was supposed to be performing but now she isn't. actually i dun really mind lah watching the concert cos i heard that the performances are really good. i better hope so.
okay so kiran ramya joey and i were making fun of a certain v dot k because of the way he cheered. so hilarious i tell u and being the mean pple that we always are, he was made the joke of the day and we kept imitating him..esp that kiran and ramya.
i felt a little bit upset and disturbed today..heh joey should know why..but i guess i have to really brace myself and not let such things affect me so much. well, at least i'm trying to and actually succeeded but sometimes u just cannot help but feel affecred at some stuffs. sometimes not knowing is better than knowing. hmm welll, that's only a slight glitch for the day.
so after sch, i met my cousins and aunts at tanjong katong complex. supposed to collect our dresses but my aunties and my mum sort of sisn't like the workmanship of the dress and they just refuesed to take it and pay for it. my aunts and mum came down to actually 'argue' with the tailor. okay now the wedding is like in 2 weeks' time and we girl cousins have no clothes to wear. we're buying some cloth froma rab street and see if any tailor is willing to sew 8 kebayas....in abt 10 days? worse come to worse, we'll just have to split tailors....
okay fine...all of us were at our wits' end just now cos we simply couldn't find any shop that can mass produce 8 pairs of clothes. heh..so we decided to pray at masjid mydin and off to simpang bedok to eat dinner. the plan was to discuss the next step but it was a bit too difficult to do so cos we were seated quite far from one another. so the next plan was to go back to my aunt's place and discuss some more..and the corporate meeting only ened at abt 10.45...so now, i'm freaking tired. thank god it's a late day tmr.
ps: i rhink that sa guys are really cute...especially the ones two ys our senior. heh..hope to see them in uni soon...=D
Monday, February 14, 2005
v day
there was supposedly an odac meeting this morning regarding some important admin matters. what a pleasant surprise i had! the meeting was the giving out of valentine's day gifts from the odac boys. heh. it was just so sweet of them..u know, the efforts they put in. they bought this plain mug and decorated it themselves. and guess what they wrote on my mug? npisy, noisy..noisiest. and they drew a loudspeaker. heh. how cute. and then they wrote 'To Fathiah. with lots of love from the odac boys'. hehe...so sweet right..i can just gush and gush over it. on my part, it was totally unexpected.
then the odac girls starting giving me stuffs. i felt so bad cos i didn't make anything. initially thought of baking cookies but i had no time and partly, i was kind of lazy. somehow, i just dun have the mood to make stuffs for v day this year. i still remembered how enthu i was last year, along with ana, ani and iffah. gosh i miss them and thoe times during first 3 months. although ani, iffah and i are still in mj, it's just not the same cos we dun really get to meet and sit down and just talk crap, waiting for the afternoon to just pass by. i still remembered how i baked brownies and custards and made hearts out of clay for v day last year. =D
i dunno but getting these small little things from your friends just makes u feel loved. i mean at the end of the day, u're just glad and grateful that u have sweet and sincere friends. teachers too, i must add.
mr wong was so nice that he ordered 25 flower/ferrero rocher from the counsellors for my class, ms huda ordered some stuffs from college pubs but they somehow misplaced her order, she made up for it by giving us chocolates but it was not enought for the whole class and she daid that sh'd buy for us another box. so sweet right? i mean, it's the thought that counts. oh yah, ms seah gave us chocolates too.
ooh and i got a rose from azzah via rohani. heh. and i went home with rohani today. it's been like ages since i last talked to her and it was nice that we were finally able to catch up....
i just feel so loved by my friends, it's definiely better than being attached. *cheeky grin*. so pple, happy valentine's day and happy friendship day too! oh and happy early TOTAL DEFENCE DAY!!!!!
ps: there's a chem test tmr but i gave up studying for it. too lazy and my brain has already reached saturation point.
Friday, February 11, 2005
crazy..pagal
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u know what, ramya constance and i were so crazy today that we decided to walk from mjc all the way to tpjc under the hot sun today after school. it took us like an hour to reach tpjc. haissh, the crazy things that bored pple do. but yeah, it was definitely fun...laughed, talked and laugh somemore. by the time we reached esso, one stop before tpjc, we were already so thirsty. so dropped by esso and cons and i bought a drink each. maybe we should do that again some time..but in a nicer weather. heh..the weather was super hot and humid just now man....
oh yah, my class was literally tortured by ms choy during pe today. she was being the mother of all female dogs today and released us 20 mins late for recess. gosh..i really hate her man. okay whatever, i better stop bitching abt her. she's not worth my energy and airtime in this space.
so 5 pple ponned today. actually 8. but ramya kiran and salwa came during recess. yah, skipped pe and avoided the female dog's torture. oh yah..HAPPY CNY to them ah!*sarcasm intended*. they went home so late i guess that they couldn't wake up in time for school.heh. just kidding. =D.
that's abt now i guess...ooh did i tell u that i got back my bio lecture test today...? haha no need to put how much i got cos it's like so atrocious.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
loved
what better way to spend Chinese New Year's eve with your loved ones. i did, with my darling friends and cousins. went all the way to queenstown to fetch syaf and then, back to pasir ris again. dumb, u say? but heelo, mj was dismissed so early that it was a waste of time to come to school. and it doesn't help that sa was only dismissed at 11.30. so yup, i had abt two and a half hours to kill..so went all the way to queenstown and accompanied kiran to st marg's to collect her o level cert.
went to whitesands to buy some food..and off we go to pasir ris park. i just love the beach, you know. it's so peaceful and there wasn't much ppl there yet. the sea breeze was just awesome despite the very hot weather. then syaf and i sat down at the swings. the swing sure brings back a lot of sweet memories. how we used to sit on the swings during the sars period and talk. that's exactly what we did...and u know, sitting on the swing is a very good exercie. your thighs hurt, yor butt hurts ...and oh, u're working on your stomach muscles too.
then we decided to walk to the other part of the park but we had a huge obstacle to surpass...a group of mats. heh. so we decided to walk to the sungai api-api park and finally sat down at the sheltered playground...where we just slacked again. decided to meet nabila at 5 at tampines. and in our bid to kill time we walked all the way to pasir ris interchange from pasir ris park. haha...but it was fun. i can say that it was a fruitful day of slacking around. Not much words were exchanged, just updates and thoughts on each other's part, but the fact that we all got to spend time together just brings warmth to my heart. =D
u know, it's just so sad and extremely shocking to find out that your friends have undergone major metamorphosis. sighz...what is the world coming to? but pardon my prejudice and bias, they're still my friends and i can only be happy for them...
and of course being girls, we indulged in girl talk, as always. heh, and i was introduced ro the three rule when datating guys.
1. NEVER ever date a mummy's boy
2. DON"T be his first cos u're still only his experiment
3. When the r'ship is in trouble, DUMP him first. DON"T let him dump you
whacky, but true to some extent right?
at night, my cousins wanted to watch constantine but it was fully packed or booked everywhere. it just so happens that everone wanted to watch constantine on Chinese New Year's Eve. Pardon me for my rascist comment, maybe ignorance, but whatever happened to reunion dinners? Maybe they're having reunion dinners over constantine. well, i'm just being a sourgrape i guess. east coast was simply super packed. my cousins commented that it's the malay familisthat are having reunion dinners cos wherever we walked, w'll see one whole group of malay families. fine, rascist comment again. no offence there.
Friday, February 04, 2005
fluctuatuions
Hormonal changes can really do wonders to a person's mood. it happened to me at least. sighz..i dunno why i'm just so pissed and upset at one point of time and then my craziness will suddenly come back and i'll be my usual happy, cheery self.
so many things happened and i dun really know where to start. oh yah, so in the end i finally managed to compromise, but that doesn't mean i'm happy. cos when u compromise, u dun necessaruly need to be happy although u have already reached a consensus.
i've never felt so angry in my entire life before. my pride and ego was simply deflated. yes, i'm the villain and u pple are the protaganists. i guess my opinions are not valued, yes u pple hear my opinions, but are u actually listening? everyone can hear but not everyone can listen. i just felt so defeated. maybe i should just adopt a blase attittude, for my own good. i've realised that being obstinate, strong-minded and headstrong and being vocal can hurt you at the end of the day.
i admit i was so consumed with anger. maybe angry is too mild a word. i was furious and enraged. so furiois that u can literally see smoke coming out from my ears when i was doing my chem spa. haha..finished it in abt 4o minutes flat. sometimes i think it's better if u share your anger with somone. i was really complaining to my friends..u know just to let it all out. but that fury in me just dissipated and at the end of the day, the whole thing just left me feeling disppointed. but yes, all's well right now...maybe on the surface...i'm not sure of it myself. i guess i'm fine at this moment. and now, i so believe that words can really kill especially if u have a very glib and sharp tongue.
i dunno why but i just feel so empty now. haha..kudos to me for slowly pulling back..i just have to be resilient. but yah it's easier said than done. but for my own good, i will persevere and may victory be mine in the end.
